In the summer of this year Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina said,"I've been unfaithful to my wife. I developed a relationship with what started as a dear, dear friend from Argentina."
Sanford would not be the first nor will the last politician to cheat on his spouse but what is interesting is the way he got caught. As CNN'' Peter Hamby and Kristi Keck reported, "The South Carolina governor had not been seen in public since June 18. When questioned, Sanford's staff told media outlets Sanford was hiking on the Appalachian Trail.
But Sanford was spotted Wednesday in Atlanta, Georgia's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport." He was in Argentina actually but he and his staff did their best to throw the citizens of South Carolina and the media off the trail.
Now a cheating spouse might not be able to carry on an extra marital affair in another country or have a staff to cover for them but to keep their business private or in other words to keep you from investigating what you suspect they do have a couple of tricks which do not involve a passport but are just as effective.
1. Righteous Anger
You make what you believe to be an innocuous comment. It's general in nature and cannot really be considered accusatory. The cheating spouse takes that as an opening to give you the full production.
They are livid that after being together all these years you would make a remark like that. They go ballistic (might even throw in some tears for proper seasoning). It naturally catches you off guard and you find yourself backtracking and apologizing profusely.
But there is no consoling them as they storm out the room or the house. To complete the effect they even give you the cold shoulder for awhile so you can plainly see how much you have hurt them.
Now you really didn't say or do anything wrong but the whole point was to put you on the defensive and give themselves more breathing room. Mission Accomplished.
2. The Accomplice
There is a mutual friend that you both respect or a family member that the two of you really like. Except without you knowing it they lean more toward your significant other than you.
In a way they are the equivalent of Mark Sanford's staff. Whenever your spouse needs a good alibi or someone to run interference for them, they call on this person. It can be more than one which makes finding out what's really going on that much more complicated and time consuming.
They know exactly what's happening and may even be instrumental in planning out the details. No matter how involved the accomplice's first and in essence only loyalty has nothing do with you.
3. Accusing You
They have not wanted to say anything before but now they can no longer keep silent. They've noticed a change in your behavior. In addition some strange charges are showing up the credit card bills. It also seems to them you are becoming more secretive in your conversations.
That's right. They are having an affair but accuse you of having one. You deny it vehemently for good reason; none of this is true. But now they start cross examining you to the extreme. After the showdown they let you know without saying a word that from now on they are going to be keeping a closer eye on you. It's not that you have anything to worry about but it did get you rattled and now you are back on your heels trying to fight off a lie.
There are all kinds of tricks a cheating spouse tries to use. It doesn't mean you necessarily fall for it. The truth is the truth no matter what. It does show you however the limits people can and will go through to keep their significant other in the dark about what they are doing.
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